My bucket list

Plecând de la filmul The Bucket List şi de la o listă pe care am găsit-o pe blogul lui Jen (şi pe care o redau mai jos, pentru conformitate) mă bântuie o problemă: ce-aş vrea să trec pe răbojul dorinţelor pentru următorii… 20 de ani. Adică mă aflu în situaţia de a-l avea în faţă pe peştişorul de aur cel sadic, care mă întreabă ce doleanţe aş avea, apoi sare înapoi în apă nu înainte de a-mi pleoscăi un “Fă-ţi-le singur!” rânjit.

Dacă e să răspund repede şi fără să mă gândesc prea mult, primul lucru care-mi vine în minte e că aş vrea sa scriu douăzeci de cărţi. Una pe an. E un ritm destul de rezonabil, deşi Lucian, bunul meu amic căruia i-am dat de un an şi patru luni (!) să-mi facă desenele pentru cartea mea de poveşti şi acum două zile îmi spune că nu-i place ce-a făcut şi că vrea să schimbe stilul, Lucian deci, acest băiat care stă pe un munte de talent dar e îngropat într-un ocean de nebunie artistică (sunt cât se poate de plastic când spun asta), Lucian mi-ar spune să nu-mi impun deadline-uri fiindcă m-aş putea trezi dead de la propriile mele aspiraţii. Ca să nu mă enervez din nou, sar peste această parte şi revin la o carte pe an, fie şi în România unde nu prea găseşti mansarde spirituale şi conturi speciale dedicate literaturii în care unii sau alţii să-ţi vireze, dacă meriţi, ceea ce e de virat. Citesc o excelentă carte de-a lui Stephen King (asupra căreia voi reveni). Se numeşte Misterul Regelui (Despre scris) şi e un fel de autobiografie King combinată cu sfaturi lejere către cei care vor să scrie. Am ajuns la partea în care scriitorul aflat la început de drum, cu doi copii şi cu o slujbă de profesor prost plătită, primeşte telefon de la editorul său care-i spune că o mare editură a oferit pentru Carrie 400.000 de dolari, din care jumătate îi vor reveni lui. Carrie a fost primul roman al lui Stephen King. Iar prima lui reacţie a fost să plece în oraş şi să-i cumpere nevesti-sii un uscător de păr, cel mai de soi lucru pe care l-a găsit la plictisitorul supermarket local.

Nu poţi să treci pe o bucket list ceva de genul: “să mă sune editorul şi să-mi spună că voi avea în cont 200.000 de dolari pentru primul meu roman”. E ca şi cum te-ai ruga să câştigi la loto, adică să nu poţi controla mare lucru. Dar poţi să treci – am tot dreptul – “să scriu 20 de cărţi în următorii 20 de ani”. Ce rezultă din asta, în plan financiar, sentimental sau al gloriei eterne, rămâne de văzut.

Oricum, când începi să te gândeşti, adică să plonjezi în piscina viselor, lista se umflă rapid. Apoi rămâne, pe moment, imaculată, nici un element nu e bifat iar unele dorinţe par atât de îndepărtate că mai bine, vorba lui Tamango, te duci la un peşte cu undiţa. Revin la lista găsită la Jen şi voi înroşi nu ceea ce am făcut până acum din ea (treaba mea dacă m-am masturbat într-un loc public, eh? – no. 106) ci ceea ce aş vrea să fac. Nu sunt prea multe, ceea ce mă face să cred că: 1 – cel care a făcut lista n-a avut destulă imaginaţie şi 2 – mai bine îţi faci propria listă. Pentru că, ipotetic vorbind, aşa cum spune unul într-o carte, visele nu au limite. 😀

01) Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02) Swam with wild dolphins
03) Climbed a mountain
04) Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05) Been inside the Great Pyramid
06) Held a tarantula.
07) Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08) Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09) Hugged a tree
10) Done a striptease
11) Bungee jumped
12) Visited Paris
13) Watched a lightning storm at sea
14) Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15) Seen the Northern Lights
16) Gone to a huge sports game
17) Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18) Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19) Touched an iceberg
20) Slept under the stars
21) Changed a baby’s diaper
22) Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23) Watched a meteor shower
24) Gotten drunk on champagne
25) Given more than you can afford to charity
26) Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27) Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28) Had a food fight
29) Bet on a winning horse
30) Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
31) Asked out a stranger
32) Had a snowball fight
33) Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34) Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35) Held a lamb
36) Enacted a favorite fantasy
37) Taken a midnight skinny dip
38) Taken an ice cold bath
39) Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40) Seen a total eclipse
41) Ridden a roller coaster
42) Hit a home run
43) Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44) Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45) Adopted an accent for an entire day
46) Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47) Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48) Had two hard drives for your computer
49) Visited all 50 states of USA
50) Loved your job for all accounts
51) Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52) Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53) Had amazing friends
54) Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55) Watched wild whales
56) Stolen a sign
57) Backpacked in Europe
58) Taken a road-trip
59) Rock climbing
60) Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice
61) Midnight walk on the beach
62) Sky diving
63) Visited Ireland
64) Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65) In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
66) Visited Japan
67) Benchpressed your own weight
68) Milked a cow
69) Alphabetized your records
70) Pretended to be a superhero
71) Sung karaoke
72) Lounged around in bed all day
73) Posed nude in front of strangers
74) Scuba diving
75) Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
76) Kissed in the rain
77) Played in the mud
78) Played in the rain
79) Gone to a drive-in theater
80) Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it
81) Visited the Great Wall of China
82) Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog.
83) Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84) Started a business
85) Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86) Toured ancient sites
87) Taken a martial arts class
88) Sword fought for the honor of a woman
89) Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90) Gotten engaged
91) Been in a movie
92) Crashed a party
93) Loved someone you shouldn’t have
94) Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95) Gotten married
96) Had sex at the office
97) Gone without food for 5 days
98) Made cookies from scratch
99) Won first prize in a costume contest
100) Ridden a gondola in Venice
101) Gotten a tattoo
102) Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103) Gotten divorced
104) Been on television news programs as an “expert”
105) Got flowers for no reason
106) Masturbated in a public place
107) Got so drunk you don’t remember anything
108) Taken illegal drugs
109) Performed on stage
110) Been to Las Vegas
111) Recorded music
112) Eaten shark
113) Had a one-night stand
114) Gone to Thailand
115) Seen Siouxsie live
116) Bought a house
117) Been in a combat zone
118) Buried one/both of your parents
119) Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120) Been on a cruise ship
121) Spoken more than one language fluently
122) Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123) Bounced a check
124) Performed in Rocky Horror
125) Read – and understood – your credit report
126) Raised children.
127) Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy.
128) Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129) Created and named your own constellation of stars
130) Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131) Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132) Called or written your Congress person
133) Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134) …more than once? – More than twice?
135) Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136) Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
137) Had an abortion or your female partner did
138) Had plastic surgery
139) Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
140) Wrote articles for a large publication
141) Lost over 100 pounds
142) Held someone while they were having a flashback
143) Piloted an airplane
144) Petted a stingray
145) Broken someone’s heart
146) Helped an animal give birth
147) Been fired or laid off from a job
148) Won money on a T.V. game show
149) Broken a bone
150) Killed a human being
151) Gone on an African photo safari
152) Ridden a motorcycle
153) Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
154) Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155) Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156) Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157) Ridden a horse
158) Had major surgery
159) Had sex on a moving train
160) Had a snake as a pet
161) Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162) Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163) Slept for more than 30 hours
164) Visited lots of foreign countries
165) Visited all 7 continents
166) Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167) Eaten kangaroo meat
168) Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169) Been a sperm or egg donor
170) Eaten sushi
171) Had your picture in the newspaper
172) Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173) Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
174) Gotten someone fired for their actions
175) Gone back to school
176) Parasailed
177) Changed your name
178) Petted a cockroach
179) Eaten fried green tomatoes.
180) Read The Iliad
181) Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
182) Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183) …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184) Taught yourself an art from scratch
185) Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186) Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187) Skipped all your school reunions
188) Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189) Been elected to public office
190) Written your own computer language
191) Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
192) Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193) Built your own PC from parts
194) Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
195) Had a booth at a street fair
196) Dyed your hair
197) Been a DJ
198) Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199) Written your own role playing game
200) Been arrested.